Pakthryxl Proxy Adventure Path

Devil's Reunion
Even the bloodless have hearts.

Quantium had nearly boundless magical resources for the tapping. If only I’d had equally boundless financial resources. It was a pity to watch it fade into the horizon. Perhaps I’d return one day soon, once we finish our business in Katapesh. Blatz had been returned to me, in effect, if not in spirit. He was having none of me, still upset over that business of being obliterated, brought back, and being put in harm’s way yet again. I pulled him from Hell, then non-existence. One would think he’d be more grateful. He flew near me, keeping his distance, always invisible, naturally. He didn’t realize the fungal eyes I’d gained in the desert kept him clearly in sight. He can be so petulant sometimes. No matter. I will win him over again. I even made gifts!

The trip to Katapesh was a welcome respite from our recent diet of blood and carnage. I even had to time to finish Blatz’s gifts and finish another for myself. It is pleasant to have both Hexa and Blatz with us again, as well as the others, of course. Once we made port, reconciliation was the first order of business.

“Blatz! Come to me! We have business, you and I!”, I said to the area in which he invisibly hovered.

No response.

“I understand that I’ve mistreated you, and that you hold that against me. Understood. However, I need you to understand that…”. The words were coming with difficulty now. “I need you to understand that you are important to me. You are mine. We are partners, you and I. Do you remember how we first met? We were deep in the dungeon, locked away forever. I’d pulled you from Hell, to be by my side.”

Silence.

“Do you know how long we spent there? During it all, you were there with me, enduring with me. I did things to you during that time. I know. I had to. The knowledge I gained from it allowed us to escape, all three of us. You’ve held that against me, understandably. We are beyond that now. We are free.”

Blatz’s invisible form turns away.

“You are invaluable to me. Without you, I am diminished. Blatz. You are my friend.”

The alacrity with which an imp can turn and embrace a man’s neck is somewhat startling. “I knew you cared! I knew it! You couldn’t be such an insufferable asshole!”, Blatz elated.

“While I appreciate the compliment, old friend, I do have some items for you. I have the belt I displayed you earlier, as well as a pair of anklets to nearly double your speed. You’ll be the fastest imp on the mortal plane, I’d wager. Please take them, and use them as the superior imp you are,” I said.

“I never thought I’d see the day, you insufferable asshole,” Hexa chided.

Hexa never misses an opportunity to vex me, but it almost made me smile this time. I am growing soft. “Let us take a day to enjoy the wonder and detritus of this city of Katapesh,” I said.

Our little outing eventually led its way to the Acadamae headquarters, the maven of which was a truly inferior man, in all respects. However, Hexa was very kind in her execution of intimidation. Perhaps this lowly leader might be useful yet. If he could provide information regarding potential buyers for soul gems, or locations for nightstall dealings, he might be worthy of his own life. The Hellknights will be next.

As we traveled the daystalls of Katapesh, I took a moment, “Hexa, you do understand that soon, we will likely return home, yes?”

She looked at me as though I had stolen the treat from her hand.

“I know. I want you to know that when that happens, I will kill them, both of them. You can be with me in that, if you wish. But when it is done, you will assume control. I have no desire to take hold. My path will diverge from yours there. I cannot follow, for the gods have seen fit to toss my destiny in the path of these cursed gray dragons. For that reason, you cannot follow me. There is too much risk, and I cannot stomach my only sister following me to destruction should we fail.”

I should have seen it coming, but family is more difficult to read. She slapped me harder than I would have expected. “You idiot,” she said.

We enjoyed the rest of our day together.

It appears Ezgar is in town. It’s unfortunate Aven isn’t here. I’m certain he would have enjoyed this. I’ll have to make Ezgar suffer enough for the both of us, it seems.

Excellent.

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The Proposal!!! Flower Shopping in Katapesh
Captain's log found on Kaledith's cabin door

Nomawyn rose effortlessly from the white caps. Faint bluish strands of divine grace were draped around her like wings that framed her serene expression. Her eyes shone bright like natural pearls, her blue hair flowed above her shoulders like seaweed dancing in the high tide, and her body surged with a foretold purpose. She slowly descended from the heavens until the tips of her toes graced the shipdeck. Once her gaze locked on to us, her eyes intensified ten fold like a million lit fireflies. A divine presence filled the air swallowing our attention.

“Time is never wrong. The lost crew has been born”, she delivered in a hauntingly beautiful voice that was almost musical. With her last prophecy given the spirit let her go and she fell onto the deck in an ordinary clump. The golden fire that burned in my dragon heart became a roaring furnace upon hearing her words. Would this become true? Would a lost hero join us in the struggle against the Grays? Was fate keeping an ace in the hole in case of an emergency? I think the present time qualified. With Aven gone the sail would be tougher than ever and each new foe would be stronger than the last. The Grays will not let us muck up their plans forever. Eventually they will come for us. Now was not the time for Apsu or us to hold anything back. Let the pendulum of fate swing in our direction for a change. I’ll gladly accept help with open arms if this prophecy comes true! Perhaps this was Aven’s last gift to us, to herald in a new age of prophecy.

We sailed back to Quantium soon after to pick up the rest of the crew and gather a bit more information. Captain Khair was brimming with all sorts of useful intel and hearsay. He told us the Sunken Galleys sail the Infernal line from Katapesh to Absalom to the Inner sea. He heard a rumor that the Nightstalls were preparing to auction off a super rare flower that grants renewed youth. Khair didn’t believe the rumor himself but once he got talking he couldn’t help himself. He got into the tighfisted Pactmasters, the sleeziest brothels, the most notorious guilds, and the upcoming Gaol Festival. Lastly, he stressed cash is king in Katapesh so bring loads of it. And with that we sailed off to Katapesh City.

It all made a kind of mad sense. The Sunken Galleys were liquidating sleeping dragon hoards in order to buy a mythical flower that renews youth. Maybe a really old gray dragon wants to be young again? Who knows? It was the best theory we had so we decided to operate like it was truth. Our pooled resources were lacking if we intended to bid on that damn flower, especially if Ezgar had access to numerous dragon hoards. We needed more money fast if we wanted to make a play. I wondered what we could plunder to increase our booty. Maybe rob a Pactmaster or two? Maybe confiscate Ezgar’s wealth after we cut him down like the dog he is? We were busy contemplating ledgers and abacuses when Kaledith approached with serious eyes.

“If money is the only obstacle remaining to put an end to this madness. There is something I can do. By birthright, I’m entitled to a percentage of my families’ considerable fortune in the event that I marr..”, Kaledith explained in a down to business tone.
I cut her off as a feeling of cunning swelled out my gut, “I accept your proposal! But this is highly unorthodox. In a proper Kobold marriage proposal you should’ve made two wreaths of dried mealworms and wet stink root. Then covered yourself in sacred itch mud. Then placed a…”.
“What?! Not you! I’d rather die penniless. I want Lorenz!, cried Kaledith. She turned beat red and covered her mouth with both hands when she realized what she said so boldly. Lorenz came to attention like someone kicked him in the ass. I marveled at his confusion. He uttered all sorts of idiosyncratic economic gibberish out of his lips while she repeatedly apologized. I fell to the deck, laughing my tail off! Goethe and Myrrh were also in stitches. After a while, Kaledith awkwardly gave Lorenz until nightfall to decide. Munthrek love is so childish!

I ordered Lorenz to marry her! We’ll soon see if he followed my order.

We entered Katapesh City’s harbor before lunchtime. Even I could tell that Katapesh City or the Golden City as some call it, was truly a Sin City. More like a Sin Metropolis because it was such a gigantic sprawling monster of a city. Katapesh had it all, whether you’re seeking virtue or vice it was all available in a heartbeat for the the right price. The city teemed with endless bazaars, exotic shops, black markets, and blacker markets. Lorenz called it capitalism at its finest. Everything had a price and everything was for sale.

After disembarking at the docks we went our separate ways for the afternoon. Lorenz had an appointment at the Immaculate Repository, Goethe went for a walk with his sister, Myrrh vanished to parts unknown, Kaledith and Tebrilith went wedding planning, and I went looking for Sunken Galleys. Splitting up seemed like the fastest way to look for Ezgar and find the Nightstalls. We decided on a pincer attack. Lorenz would gain entry to the Nightstalls as a buyer and someone else like Myrrh would gain access as a seller. We just so happened to have two incredible hard to find Aboleth Veiled Masters on soulstone ice to sell. We could use the gold from the sale to bid on the damn miracle flower. If we bought it, we could put the gray dragons’ balls in a vise grip, and maybe accomplish something.

I found the Old Dragon Bones docked in the hot midday sun for all to see. It was no longer overburdened and looked vacant. I didn’t want to chance an encounter with Ezgar so I moved along after a spell. I tried to talk to an Okeno Pirate Lord but was rebuffed by a mangy sea dog. There ain’t no justice! If I was on the sea I would’ve put holes in his fucking kneecaps. Luckily Lorenz and Myrrh had much better connections.

“I found Ezgar”, slyly stated Myrrh.
“Great! Let’s invite him to the wedding and put his severed head on the cake”, I snarked.

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Farewell First Mate!!! The Age of Aven Begins!!!
Captain’s log found in Aven's quarters

The one thing I know about magic is that it sure does bring the weirdos together. And there ain’t no weirder place than Quantium. I saw Boggarts holding hands with Monkey Goblins, Tieflings parading with Asimars, and Cikavaks frolicking with Entobians. It didn’t end there! I saw anthropomorphic weasels flamenco dancing, floating tentacle heads napping, and a Brownie playing patty cake with a Hill Giant. There were monsters of every hide mingling and munthreks of every skin mixing. It was like the great zookeeper in the sky let all the animals out just to see what would happen. I liked Quantium. My own bunch of weirdos would fit in nicely.

Once you start going down a rabbit hole like Quantium you may never get through with it. There was way too much of everything. Lucky for me, Goethe and Lorenz met me at the docks before my wanderlust kicked into high gear. Sheesh! I must be getting more responsible in my old age. Thankfully, Goethe was in good spirits. Seeing that he got his head reattached was a pure delight. However, he was left with a gnarly scar from ear to ear that nicely suited the rest of his torn up body. I expect by the finish line of this Apsu memorial tour Goethe might end up a floating head in a fish bowl with all the mutilation he suffers. After Goethe rebuffed my scar touching advances several times we got down to the business of the day.

We played it fast and loose after our reunion. We greased the wheels of a city bureaucrat with a surviving Presto ooze and tripled the reward for reopening the trade route to Alkenstar City. Not to mention, our heroics during the B.L.O.B incident. Afterwards, we joined the junior crew and Lady Kaledith for some overdue partying. Their adventure tale was good! I really enjoyed the part when they stuck it to the Brunt Saffron’s slavers. Lorenz the showoff floored them with our adventures through the Mana Wastes! Once all the grog and wine were exhausted we had a quick word with our old Sedeq ally Captain Khair of the Freedom.

“Ghost ship of Katepesh? You say did that”, Lorenz asked while motioning to the smashed Freedom.
“My ship still sails!”, I bewilderingly cried. My excitement level intensified.
“Aye Captain Reskafar. Your luxurious ship slithered up from underneath and surfaced behind me. It’s crack twenty pounders attacked without warning. The only face I saw was on the sails, the stitched face of a furious monster. I swear the face got angrier and angrier as it shelled us. We had no chance. It was a nightmare come true”, recalled Khair, he was visibly shaking. My hands started to get clammy as an old feeling crept up my spine.
“So its back. Aven sure made friends with an impatient bastard”, I muttered under my breath. I shot my companions a nervous look. Lorenz expertly ended the conversation and we left.

Myrrh validated the ghost ship story in some of the seediest harbor dives. He also learned that the Infernal line starts in Katepesh and goes to the Inner Sea. Lastly he set up a Presto ooze franchise. This was in about ten minutes. A bit slow for him if I do say so.

We all agreed that the Personification of Fury was most likely to blame. In our last encounter, It demonstrated its ship possessing power with ease. Lorenz deduced it was probably trying to get our attention by ruining our sterling reputation. Something he didn’t appreciate. The Fury has always been hungry to claim Aven for its war against the Brine Drake. We couldn’t expect to hold the Fury to a contract no more than we could expect to bottle the wild wind. Shame on us. If the Fury wants a fight we can give it one hell of a fight. We owe the Deep Sea Current that much. What kind of friends would be if we didn’t try to rescue it?

The next morning we sailed through the Miasmere to the northernmost tip of the Spell Scar desert to meet the Fury. Thinking about it, we sailed the exact route and for the exact reason that Camrad laid out to us before he evaporated. How could that undead bastard known? Sometimes I get a bad feeling that everything I do is preordained like shipbuilding plans. I couldn’t stay still. I commanded Tebrilith to write a new shanty that honored the Fury’s greatness. T’was the only thing I could think of. Maybe if we stoked the Fury’s pride like last time we could point the compass needle in our direction. The others were also searching for an advantage. Lorenz was tuning up his voice, Myrrh was sharpening his swords, and Goethe was busy magically tracking the Current. Aven was calm though, as calm as I ever seen him. But he was always calmest before battle. Did he expect blood?

“Its here!”, cried Goethe. The Deep Sea Current plunged out of the ocean to our port side. I couldn’t take my eyes off it. It really was my ship.

The Personification of Fury exploded high over the sails in a burst of violent gales. The Elemental God had an intense hurricane for a body, sharp tornadoes for arms, and flashing lightning bolts for a face. It spoke thunder and breathed hail. The ocean carrying us bent its knee in loyalty to the Fury’s awesome presence. The God controlled the wind and sea. Pillars of moving water shot up out of the sea trapping our schooner into place. The raging Living Storm looked dead into our eyes like we were caged meat. Instantly, a ferocious blast of wind hit us like a sledgehammer. The pressure was so great I had to anchor myself to keep from blowing away. No more games were being played like last time. My heart started pounding like dynamite. Bargaining seemed impossible. Fighting seemed like suicide. I clung to my musket tightly, desperately searching the others for a plan.

“Hehahaha! I know you! I knew you couldn’t wait!”, shouted Aven confidently, taking center ship. Did he have a plan? I didn’t see an opening. I braced, ready to squeeze my trigger, and then darted my eyes at Aven. He was standing up straight, eyes wild, and pointing his sword directly at the Fury with the biggest shit eating grin ever. The Undine and Storm God stared motionless at one another for an endless eternity. Everyone was fixated on the contest stuck in time. The whipping wind and crashing waves were no distractions. Some say two strong warriors can have a conversation with a single glance during a duel. I never believed that bull shit before, but witnessing Aven changed me. The bravest man I ever did met. Then I heard Tebrilith’s song cut the silence like a knife.

For the voyage is done and the winds don’t blow
And it’s time for us to leave her

Aven sheathed his sword and turned to us. Could it be? No he wouldn’t! He’s not that foolish. We have a job to do. We vowed. We can still fight! Aven’s expression turned gentile like a childs. He wouldn’t! He doesn’t care that much. Aven purposely approached us. I staggered backwards a step. What was he doing? Stop moving.

For the voyage is done and the winds don’t blow
And it’s time for us to leave her

“This is where we part ways, Dandies”, he said in earnest. He let out a shallow sigh and continued to address each of us in his own style.
“I’m sorry I cut your head off. We’re even now”, he said to Goethe.
“You’ll have to kill twice as many now”, to Myrrh
“I should’ve listened to you. Always read the contract”, to Lorenz
“Captain”, Aven said like a true first mate. Then his expression turned fierce like he was ready to kill. I matched the challenge and we locked gazes for the briefest second. Clarity washed over me in that instant. Aven wasn’t giving up, he wasn’t sacrificing himself. Aven was pushing us along! He intended to fight. He intended to win. I took a breath and nodded.

Without a word, Aven slashed his palm and offered it to me. I puffed up like the wind just filled my sails and did the same. This is the true sign of respect between sailors. All at once, Goethe’s bloody good hand grabbed the top of our hands. Myrrh did the same. Lorenz too. Lastly, Kaledith added her virgin hand. Our blood mixed becoming one. Unconsciously Apsu’s mythic power surged through my arm into the circle like a sunbeam. I felt the increasing power from the others smolder in my hand. Suddenly, golden fire ignited from our clench. No one spoke. This was our connection. A final promise among blood brothers. To save everything, to leave no one behind, and most important of all to never give up.

For the voyage is done and the winds don’t blow
And it’s time for us to leave her

Aven left with the Personification of Fury to fight a war. Would he be the difference? Or course, he would, he’s Aven. I knew in my gut that I’d be seeing him again. If not I’d never forgive him. I struggled to hold back the tears like the others. The only thing left to do now was to move forward. Just like Aven wanted us to do.

A few long calms passed. Just enough time to remember Aven was gone, but nothing stays calm for long. Something else was coming.

“The Chosen One was chosen. A major prophecy fulfilled. A new age is coming", we heard a feminine voice say. The words circulated with the wind which had picked up a knot or two.
“Time is never wrong”
We spotted her near the water. Nomawyn who we left in Quantium was hovering a few feet over the the waves, her eyes were completely white, and glowing. The spirit had caught her.

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Lesson Learned

As we made our way up the Ustradi, I contemplated all possible scenarios dealing with the color. Grivald, the young man Lorenz had saved from the oozes in Ecanus, was among us. A young, eager magus, in whom I placed too much confidence. Had I been but slightly more careful, it would have saved my neck.

A simple plan, shadow projection would shunt my life force into my shadow, an undead form immune to the color’s life-sapping aura. A telepathic bond would be formed between us, allowing our adept diplomat, Lorenz, an opportunity to parley with the creature, my shadow as proxy. Aklo is a difficult language to master, and Vestin had yet to take the time. I had instructed Grivald to place my comatose body into my bag of holding, providing safety, should the color approach. Clearly, I was not sufficiently adamant on that point.

My shadow’s lack of shriveling and death alarmed the color upon my approach, but began to respond once Aklo was uttered. I awaited Vestin’s charismatic oratory, ready to translate. His chosen address was somewhat disappointing, but I believed Vestin knew his craft, translating “There is no more life to feed you here, but we lifeforms can help”. The color was unmoved.

Somehow, our diplomacy had failed, now bloodshed followed. I couldn’t foresee how much would be mine. The ghostly color sped through the ground, as I gave pursuit through the air. Our crew and their life force were too hard to conceal, and the color was eager to feast. I called a wall of force to halt the blasted beast, but I was too slow, it was already below the ship.

Soon, half our crew were chartreuse, lethargic, or both. I should have known what was to come. Even in my undead form, I could feel as well as hear the sharp crack as the colored Grivald tried to cave in my skull with his morningstar. A thousand curses raced through my mind. The idiot failed to follow my instructions. No matter, the damage could be repaired in time.

Black powder ecplosions poured from our ship as the Captain showered the color with ghostly bullets. Hastened by anger and magic, Reskafar and I laid into the color. Both Grivald and Aven were now turned. The chartreuse undine turned to my comatose body, raising his greatsword into the air. I do not recall the infinity of curses that followed.

It is a unique experience, watching your own body decapitated. A great calm washed over me, and I saw reality with a clarity heretofore unknown. The color had to die, by my hand, its existence erased, its life eradicated, its race forever fearful of my name.

Hurt by bullet and missile, it retreated below the surface. I gave chase, loosing even more force into its formless gullet. I gazed into it shapeless form through the bedrock, and realized my clarity was naught but rage. The color was less than half-dead, our crew closer to fully, my body—utterly. We could not destroy the beast. This had to end, one way or another.

In a moment, it was back above, disintegrating the captain. Blood and viscera poured from the kobold, as his outer layers evaporated at the color’s touch. But the color’s demeanor had shifted. We were no longer fodder for growth, but dangerous, and worthy of respect.

It offered in its formless Aklo tongue, “Life, or death?”

Lorenz offered, “Of course! Parley!” Despite my boiling rage, I knew he was right. We had no chance against this monster. He could see as clearly as I. We now had a genuine chance to reason with it, if it still believed we had any capacity to kill it. As I stared into its incorporeal mass, I saw the truth. It was close, so close, to achieving its goal.

Lorenz was far more eloquent this time, with much more charm than the line he gave mere minutes before. I summoned a beast upon which the color could feed, but it still bellowed “MORE!”. Soon, Reskafar was upon us, his flesh magically stitched together again. With him, were the several crates of “Presto Oozes” given to us by the alchemical charlatan, Rudhale.

“Have at em’, they’re sure to fill you up,” cleverly smirked the kobold.

One by one, the oozes shriveled to raisins, all the while the color grew brighter, more powerful, until it reached its full measure, turning a bright lime green. It squeed in pure delight, “I may rejoin my cluster! I am in your debt, as are all my future generations. I shall send them all here to delight in the feasting you forms provide!”

“Your future generations will be slain, scouring your incorporeal pesitlence from the universe”, I thought.

“What do you know of recent celestial disturbances surrounding this sphere?”, I said.

“_The heavenly bodies have been disturbed by a force from the diaspora, or somethinbg like that,”_ it uttered, and with that, jettisoned into outer space.

“We’ve little time. I’ve only hours until this form is exhausted. Lorenz, I have need of you. Please retrieve my body, including the head.”, with that, I teleport us to the great capital city of Nex, Quantium. The others would have to make their way here on their own.

Quantium is like no other place, magic is paramount. The understanding, subduing, and ultimately empowering nature of magic is everywhere. Of course, I’ve returned to this wondrous city minus a head. My shadow led Lorenz to the largest church of Abadar within Quantium, him carrying my body, and head over his shoulders. It was there his skills would be needed.

Laying my broken body before the clerics, Lorenz worked his own verbal magic. After ten minutes of clever religious references and bawdy jokes, I would find my body revived at mere cost, five-thousand gold for the diamond needed. A small price to pay for a head.

I awoke in my body, feeling exactly as one ought to after being recently beheaded. Lorenz was leaning in the corner of the temple, arms crossed, with a little smirk across his face. I would allow this. I did owe him that. We thanked the generous, incurious clerics, and made our way to the harbor. Our telepathic link endured, and our ship was close to arrival.

Not only had our remainder arrived, but Hexa’s group as well, in addition to another past encounter, the Freedom, and her slave crew. Perhaps the arrival of so many potential allies is a sign. I will have to divine the secrets of our path more often now. But one thing is certain, they cannot know what happened with the color.

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Almost Disintegrated!!! Almost a Friend!!!
Captain's log found in wardroom

So you think you’re tough as nails? You think you’re a badass? You think nothing can stop you? I got a question for you. How much can your badass get disintegrated before your a goner? My firsthand experience in the matter tells me it’s a whole hell of a lot. I almost got disintegrated. I almost got smoked.

After I wounded the colour out of space again its survival genes kicked in. It came for me with fury. I swear it enjoyed sandblasting my scales and flesh off with its disintegrating touch. The entire left side of body was stripped away until you could see my bone marrow and vital organs. For fucks sake, I could see my dragon heart beating! I had no idea what was keeping my insides from spewing out over the ground like pig slop. I can testify there ain’t no pain worse than being ground to grit. I’ve never felt closer to death. Not even when Ezgar rocked me.

What would you do if you almost got disintegrated? Would you throw in the towel? I tell you what I did. I gave up! When the Space ooze offered a parley, I threw down my weapon down faster than a one-pump chump squirting at a whorehouse. I weighed my options. My Gebbiter blew up, my whole body was an open wound, and the ooze was only hitting me. On top of it all, the incorporeal ooze barely looked half dead once I got a good look at it. And I shot that thing an awful lot! What were we thinking trying to fight an alien monster? It was a galaxy out of our league!

Shadow Goethe the rage tornado wanted to keep battling to the bitter end. He was still fuming from being decapitated. Myrrh wished the ooze had a weak spot to twist a knife into. Lorenz wanted a tropical vacation with white beaches and mimosas. I just wanted to survive. We had bigger dragons to fry. I commanded Goethe not to get me killed. Once he got control of his animal demon instincts he saw it my way. Lorenz used his universal translator magic to open the lines of communication. Turned out Rudhale was correct. It needed life energy to get back past the Diaspora to its home-world.

It just so happened we had some fresh life force for it to consume. We served up the crates of Rudhale’s newly created Presto oozes to the starving alien menace. Then we watched the carnage of a new species go extinct in the most terrible way possible. The colour out of space grew bigger and brighter after its feast. The bastard was happier than a pig in shit. In fact, it was more than happy it was downright hedonistic. The Presto oozes were that freaking tasty. The colour out of space began emitting a high frequency sound and began pulsating like crazy. It was preparing for departure.

“My friends I must go going now while I still have the energy for star flight. Thank you for the delectable nourishment. I will send my offspring to you to feed from now until eternity. Word of your delectably nourishment will spread like star dust among my civilization. Expect colonization sometime in the next thousand cycles”, thanked the space denizen. I didn’t really understand it but we might of made a friend or doomed the world.

“We’ve heard a rumor about a disturbance in the celestial bodies. Is that true?”, Goethe asked sharply.

“Yes! A rogue planet has punched through the Diaspora. Very odd. It caused my meteor to veer to this backwater planet. I must be going now my friends”, answered the creature. It was then gone in a flash to the sky above the sky.

Shadow Goethe wasted no time and disappeared with his beheaded body for Quantium. He desperately needed the services of a highly skilled healer to turn his situation around. If his shadow form quit he would be dead for real. So he left. And the rest of us had a leisurely sail to Quantium. We met the enormous Quantium Golem before entering the boat harbor. There are no words for how awesome it was.

But the best was yet to come! After docking I spotted the rest of my ragtag crew!

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Just a Flesh Wound!!! Goethe Beheaded!!!
Captain's log found on bilge pump

I saw it unfold in slow motion. Aven raised his sword high above his head and swung down with the frenzy of an enraged god. I watched Aven’s killing power rapidly multiply as it moved from one muscle to the next until it reached its limit at the curve of his sword. It was as graceful as it was deadly. It was all things at once. The killing stroke’s final destination was Goethe’s limp neck. Which didn’t stand a snowball’s chance. Goethe’s head got slashed clean off at the neck bone! Aven just killed Goethe in cold blood!

The colour out of space had gone and done it now. The sneaky bastard infiltrated the river boat and colour blighted Aven and Grawald turning them both into friend murdering serial killers. We had miscalculated badly just how cunning it was. It was stalking us not the other way around. Luckily, Rudhale’s genital cleaning Presto oozes were safely stowed. Or were they? My ooze phobia kicked into hyper-drive.

The funny thing was that Goethe saw his own head getting chopped off! Somehow he was standing behind me and also laying supine in pieces in front of me. So tilting, but everything that demon does is a twist up. The Goethe standing behind me screamed with the fury of a thousand hells, “Curses!!! I told you fools to protect my body!” Oops.

Rewind to 15 minutes ago. Goethe thought he was so clever! He used some mysterious death magic that transferred his mind into his shadow leaving his body helpless. He claimed that his deathless shadow form was immune to many of the space ooze’s latent powers. The plan was for shadow Goethe to parley with the incorporeal ooze threat as an equal. We should’ve known better especially Lorenz. Trusting Goethe to negotiate is like trusting a dire goat to bake a birthday cake. Nothing good ever happens! You just end up bloody without any cake.

Fast forward 15 minutes. I retaliated in kind by heavily damaging the cloudy ooze with my Gebbiter. Fuck space ooze and the meteor it rode in on! The bloodied ooze slammed through me practically disintegrating my left shoulder then fled deep into the freaking ground! Myrrh and Lorenz also got some nice swipes on it before it retreated. Crap. Ground is hard. What to do now?

After watching his body meat die, shadow Goethe was an inferno of black vengeance. Being caught between life and death can do that to a person. I should know. Goethe went berserk and pursued the space ooze underground with reckless abandon. The ship quaked from their explosive subterranean clash. I called to Goethe, “Don’t die on us! Force it above ground! We’ll finish this with one last attack!”

Now what to do about a chartreuse Aven?

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So many enemies, too little time.
Found in a pile of old scrolls... thousands of years hence.

A color out of space?! I’ve too much on my hands now to deal with an incorporeal ooze from the dark tapestry! I’d have let the blasted thing eat away the smallfolk of Nex, had that slippery Rudhale not made such compelling display. In the unlikely event his predictions of the color’s appetite prove true, at least its destruction will again earn us leverage in the state. Given our information, the color will prove a genuine challenge, but I’ve not come this far, nor shed such blood to be slaughtered like those week-willed corpses seen in its wake.

Nevertheless, our heroism within Ecanus has earned us some mediocre reward, arcane enhancements, and a few scrolls for our trouble. Us? What madness. Though, I must admit I’ve found respect for my comrades on this journey. For much of our time therein, I found them little more than means to my ends. Lorenz is a man to be recognized, far beyond his lesser human brethren, a nobleman born. I may share more in common with this man than first thought. The kobold, honestly, a kobold! Reskafar, his true name cannot honestly be Hole Maker! Whatever his true name may be, his will and skill in battle show him to be a higher class of creature, no matter his low-born species.

The Undine, Aven. I’ve walked Golarion 86 years, far fewer free, and I’ve met over 100 Undine Avens. Whatever creativity his parents lacked in names, he must have inherited in prowess. I’ve never seen a man have his skin rent from his body and live, let alone continue to fight. That alone proved his worth. I must have been out of my mind to take the time to save him when the maniac Slate was about to rend my soul from body, yet I did. Am I becoming weak? Have I become attached to these others?

No. They are useful. Myrrh understands this I am sure. Whatever his origins may be, he understands the whisper in the dark that is a mortal life. I respect that in him. He does not delay. He does not empathize. He kills. When our collective time under the thumb of Apsu is finished, should it ever be, I may have use for him. With Hexa back in hand, I’m sure she desires vengeance as much as I. Given his secret occupation beyond the borders of our alliance, I’m sure the rewards our success may offer will be all the enticement he needs.

However, that is for the future. Now we have that blasted color, Ezgar, Slate, his brother, and his perhaps his damnable father! Why did Dahak curse the platinum dragons into greys instead of simply annihilating them?! Vengeance I understand, but didn’t that idiot god realize some grey would eventually find an arcane method to regain his lineage? Should Apsu’s power continue to grow within us as it has this past month, I swear I may do what Apsu never could.

But again, this power is there but at Apsu’s will. Should we misalign with it, it may be lost. This is the power of the gods, given to mortals to serve them. I am no slave to Apsu, yet I cannot allow Slate to tear down creation to serve his dead platinum forefathers. Were I him, I would do the same. But the truth of the universe is power. There must be order, and to make order, there must be power, the power to influence, to subdue, to conquer, and to destroy.

That is the power of the gods, and our company has been lent a share of that power. So we must use that power to subdue and destroy all in our way, to make order. Outside of that power, is chaos. And chaos cannot reign. So we will kill. We will kill this blasted color from space. We will kill Ezgar. We will kill Slate. We will kill all in our path. Finally, I will kill both o…

First, the color. Yes, the color…..

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Rudhale’s Guide to the Galaxy!!! It Involves Ooze
Captain’s log found on backstay

“Knock. Knock. Knock”
No one answered the heavy steel doors of the Vats. We had returned with captain Tsadok to do some investigation into the Big Lethal Ooze Breach, already in the books code named the B.L.O.B incident.

“Do you think Rudhale ran?”, Aven asked.
“Son, I don’t run, Bil Li carries me”, answered a confidant echo from beyond the doors, “You guys just interrupted my most productive fifteen minutes of the day. It’s science fact that a person’s peek production only lasts fifteen minutes. I built my entire ooze empire off those short bursts of genius. How can I help you?”.

Rudhale opened the door, he was dressed in an eggshell jumpsuit bedazzled with blue rhinestones, a giant magnifying glass covered his right eye, and he held a large wooden mixing spoon. Bil Li was behind him carrying a lidless container marked, “Hazardous Ooze Material”.

“What happened? The council needs explanation”, questioned Tsadok

“Yeah! And why were you infected with chartreuse ash when we arrived?”, I asked.
“I’m glad you brought that up Captain Reskafar. I believe an incorporeal alien-ooze intelligence hitchhiked its way to earth on a meteor from outer space. It then infiltrated the Vats and poisoned my mind and body with the color of space. So I plead insanity. It’s a miracle I survived. Tsadok you know that the oozes escape from time to time, forty-two times to be precise, its the cost of doing business with strange magic. It was unlucky this time that my top secret carnivorous blobs got out, but that isn’t my fault. The space ooze is to blame. Any reasonable person can see that, plain as the smile on my face”, said the affable Rudhale with a half grin. Tsadok looked like he was started to buy the excuse. I didn’t know what to make of it.

“But I did some good too. I recruited these incredible generous pirates to defeat the blobs. Plus I already had Bil Li take several samples of the dead oozes to further my experiments. I already located and researched the space ooze. Plus those escaped oozes added a little excitement to this boring city. Okay that last one might not have been good for everyone”, justified Rudhale to Tsadok, going in for the kill. His words hung in the air in much the same way bricks don’t. Tsadok bought it hook, line, and sinker. As for the rest of us, Lorenz looked a bit jealous, Goethe annoyed, Myrrh poised, Aven indifferent, and myself impressed.

Tsadok said on the way in that it was unlikely that Rudhale was going to be prosecuted for the B.L.O.B incident even if it was on purpose. As long as, Rudhale supplied Nex with top of line military assets and a reasonable excuse, he could get away with an occasional catastrophe. Apparently, escaped fleshforged monsters running amok is not that uncommon in Ecanus. So much so it’s hardly a crime. The housecall was merely protocol after an incident. Rudhale knew this too so all the pageantry he displayed was just for us.

“Didn’t you tell me were looking for a space ooze when we first met? This is good”, said Tsadok, “Rudhale please show them what you discovered”. Rudhale smiled wide and pranced to the stairs. He took us to his observatory on the top of the tower. At the center of the room was a giant crystal ball the size of a sixty pound stone.

“Gentlemen, I have two passions in life. Oozes and scrying. What you’re about to see is my own invention. I can use this baby to scry anything in the galaxy. Which is super useful to peek on the competition or spy on a hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional alien race of oozes. Don’t Panic. Just sit back and watch”, boasted Rudhale like a plumed peacock.

He carefully rubbed a teaspoon of chartreuse ash onto the globe. For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. A few more seconds passed and something happened. A birds eye view of a river fork appeared, the picture zoomed in revealing a heavily blighted landscape, and finally focused in on a large strangled tree.

“Bingo! That’s where you’ll find the space ooze”, said Rudhale.
“Looks like the Ustradi and Elemion river fork”, chimed Aven.

The picture quickly changed to a chartreuse planet. It looked like a bowl of butterscotch pudding.
“You see space oozes feed on the vigor of the body and the will of the spirit. Call it life force. The more it feeds the bigger it grows. After it consumes enough life force it will launch itself back into the galaxy in search of its founder world, a rogue planet in the Omarion Nebula. The planet’s surface is a vast ocean of millions of intermingling oozes with no discernible landmass. I theorize that this ooze ocean forms the ultimate community. Call it the Great Soup. Wow! Think about the advantages living in such a free flowing soup. I bet the answer to the great question of life, the universe and everything swims in that ooze orgy. Being broken from that nirvana must be devastating. No wonder it kills indiscriminately. This poor soul-sucking extraterrestrial ooze just wants to voyage home. It’s almost poetic if you ask me. Which makes me wonder if a space ooze can write poetry? Huh. Food for thought”, explained Rudhale deep in the rapids of his stream of consciousness.

“So it will leave on its own? Why bother with it?”, Goethe interjected.

The picture changed back to fields of blighted crops and dead forests. Moving pictures of munthreks fleeing from chartreuse monsters played on the screen. Scenes of starvation, dehydration, and murder followed. Finally, the image settled on a close up of a crying pale orange baby. I heard Bil Li making crying noises from underneath the globe. Had Rudhale prepared this in advance? Could this globe predict the future as well? Rudhale let the movers go on for a spell as Bil Li provided sound effects. I was mesmerized.

“You fool! Or course it will leave. But not before it sucks the life out of everything in the region for years to come! I estimate currently it’s probably about a 100 feet in diameter. By my calculations, E=MC^2, the ooze will need to grow much bigger to produce enough kinetic energy to reach escape velocity. If nothing is done. The rivers will close, Ecanus will be abandoned, and Alkenstar City will dry up. Loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like that scenario. You boys must do the thing!”, righteously declared Rudhale.

“On behalf of Ecanus, I charge you with expunging the space ooze. I will get my people to magically enhance your weapons in preparation. What say you?”, said Tsadok.
“Don’t Panic. Be careful. The space oozes’s aura will zap your life force within a couple hundred feet. It’s intelligent. Cunning enough to outwit me. It’s incorporeal so it can attack from any angle. It just might be the perfect killing machine”, educated Rudhale.
“I’m the perfect killing machine. We’ll take the job. This place is starting to get boring around here anyways”, I declared.

While our weapons were getting upgraded, we took Rudhale’s scrying globe for a spin or three. The trade off between trusting Rudhale with some of our secrets and new information was worth the risk. We checked in on the rest of the crew who were already in Quantium. Kaledith noticed the scrying eye and provided us with a written account of their adventures. She lastly wrote that our old Okeno ally, Khair, was also docked in Quantium. Very interesting! Goethe checked out Slate’s whereabouts by using his busted platinum horn. Turned out, Slate was flying north over the Obari, but was traveling too fast for the scrying eye to keep up. I popped in on Ezgar using one of the Azlanti daggers from Great Hunter. Ezgar was wearing Aven’s skin. Which creeped the real Aven out! Ezgar also sailed north on his sunken galley. Ashen looked to be following close behind on her ship. The grays must be traveling to Katapesh, after all, Camrad said they were seeking something from the infamous night stalls. Rudhale the confirmed opportunist was fascinated by everything. Clearly, he was giddily filing away everything he saw in his mind palace. We may need to keep Rudhale as an ally or have Myrrh pay him a personal visit.

Our weapons arrived shiny and new. We set sail down the river to face off against a faceless incorporeal ooze from another planet. Not sure how this is going to go.

Rudhale bid us farewell, “So Long, And Thanks for All the…”.
We were too far away to hear the rest.

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The Indestructible Creature!!! Boated with the Blood of its Victims!!!
Captain’s log found in a gunnel

“Wow. That’s a lot of screaming coming from Ecanus. Huh. Mages are tough I’m sure not many will get absorbed. Bil Li draw me a bath. I just got a new idea for an ooze. Picture an ooze that digests your food for you! Think about it no more chewing!”, snapped Rudale, apparently his melancholy was short lived. You didn’t need to be a mind scientist to see Rudhale had no intentions of stopping his blobs. However, his rash demeanor got under Goethe and Lorenz’s skin like a tick.

“We’ll stop the blobs! I’m sure we’ll be handsomely rewarded by Ecanus”, quoted Lorenz.
“That’s the spirit”, shouted Rudhale already in his bathrobe, “Little known fact! Fleshforges make fantastic bath tubs”.

We were off to Ecanus in a flicker. I had much trepidation in my dragon soul. Blobs and oozes are freaking terrifying to fight under the best circumstances let alone blind. We appeared in front of the north gate. I am starting to get used to this teleporting thing! Hundreds of people were fleeing the city in a chaotic rush. I saw more than one person get flattened by the mob and saw much looting. We spotted a platoon of city guards pushing against the bedlam.

“We’re here to help. We’ve been tracking a chartreuse ooze for many miles. Tell us where to go and we will annihilate it”, Aven offered to the guard Captain. The battlemage, Tsadok, looked us over with a knowing look. We must of passed his internal test because he told us where to best support his troops.

Goethe casted a few fly spells and we weaved around the building in a mad dash. The freaking carnivorous blob was the size of a three story building! My “we’re dead” thoughts intensified. Who knew how many pounds of flesh it had already consumed. City guards were busy trying to box it in with magic, but their parameter wasn’t finished. The blob steadily was pulling screaming people out a cobblestone building one at a time like it was eating grapes off a vine. As each person got dissolved the ooze swelled a little more. It was only a matter of seconds before Funky Boy was going to split again!

We took our positions hovering above the buildings. We spotted a foolish bunch of city mages trying to sneak by the blob. Lorenz did his best to direct them away. I squeezed off a shot at the blob only for it to be deflected by an amorphous pseudopods. Goddamnit, I hate anything that doesn’t fall down when shot! I thought to myself, “I made it through Vosh I can make it through this bullshit”. I opened fire like never before. My bullets would’ve blocked out the sun if it was sunny out!

Goethe experimented with a new spell that I had never seen him use before. He summoned a toxic cloud of gas near the blob which drove the monster back further into a building. I heard a person from inside the building scream, “Oh God! Who casted cloud kill?”, then silence. It occurred to me that Goethe may have been trying to kill the blob’s food source, but I don’t think he would do that. Would he? The blob made it to the top of the ramshackle building to get away from the death cloud. With the ooze out of reach Goethe dismissed the noxious cloud. The carnivorous blob spotted the group of sneaky mages who were desperately preparing to close off the trapping parameter. The blob rained down on them like a bloody waterfall of death.

Sometimes I think Lorenz has a no self preservation instinct. He has a soft spot for weak munthreks. The crazy bastard actual swan dived into the pulsating ooze after the swallowed guards! I bet his life flashed before his eyes a few times. I had to help so I decided to put Bruner’s teaching to the test. Can a tiny bullet move a hundred ton blob? Hell yes it can! I packed my musket with a lot of black powder and took aim. It sounded like a freaking cannon when I fired. The bullet hit the ooze with a concussive force so great it rippled through the ooze like a fat guy belly flopping in a pond. I managed to move the colossal ooze uncovering the smashed guards and Lorenz. Lorenz looked immaculate except he was grasping on to a bloody detached arm of an absorbed guard. But he did manage to save a different guard’s whole body before the blob recovered. If you ask me, it was a goddamn miracle he saved even one of the guards from that indestructible monster.

The blob freshly bloated with guard blood recovered by splitting into two gigantic blobs! The two half size blobs tried to escape to the city through an alley way. Aven, Goethe, and I managed to destroy them before they got too far into the meat and blood buffet that is Ecanus. I learned a valuable lesson fighting that blob. Big blob, little blob. It didn’t matter, I’m the guy with the gun.

We helped mop up the living gore piles for the rest of the evening. Ecanus owes us big time and I aim to collect.

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The Wizard of Ooze!!! On the Precipice of Apocalypse
Captains log found on the sheet

“Should we knock?”, I snickered, marveling at the staggering amount of blood.
“Nah…they rolled out the red carpet for us”, Lorenz sarcastically responded.
“That’s the most blood I have even seen!”, blurted Aven.
“I’ve seen more. Much much more”, a way too serious Myrrh added.
“I can think of thirteen possible reasons why this fleshforge is so bloody”, Goethe stated, he continued after a deep breath, “First, a back end sphincter malfunction…”.
Lorenz interjected, “Please keep it to yourself Goethe. I just ate”.

We unceremoniously entered the bloody tower. Unbelievably it was twice as bloody on the inside, floor to ceiling and wall to wall. No one greeted us so we took a look around. The first floor seemed to be a warehouse full of strange alchemical goods.

“Mostly ooze countermeasures”, Goethe explained.
“For fucks sake, I hate oozes. Why do creepy towers always mess with oozes? Why not make something useful like a more delicious cow?”, I rambled.
“Quiet! I hear someone”, snapped Lorenz.

I heard it too, the muffled wails of someone on the verge of a dirt nap. Lorenz and Aven bolted to the rescue. They found a munthrek man on the ground writhing in agony. Up close, you could see something projecting under his skin like wandering goosebumps the size of rigging knots. Before I knew it, I was blindsided by the pool of blood under my feet. The bloody ooze forced its viscous pudding down my open mouth. I threw it up and ran away like a frightened child.

“It’s trying to get me pregnant with ooze babies! I felt it release its seed!”, I cried. Aven and Goethe eliminated the threat while Lorenz cared for the screaming man, ignoring me completely. I watched as the others kept pouring precious rum and other rancid concoctions down the limp man’s throat.

“Why torture him more?”, I asked after composing myself.
“He’s got an angry ooze in his gut. We need vinegar!”, demanded Aven.
“Ahh! A simple acid, C2H4O2, give me a moment. Where did I put my portable lab?”, Goethe proclaimed. His what?

Sure as water is wet, Goethe spontaneously catalyzed up a vial of vinegar. The man puked up an entire blood pudding ooze monster (So Gross!) which we dispatched quickly before it could impregnate anyone else. After, Lorenz got the guy, Bil Li, healthy enough for talking. He told us to find Rudhale in the fleshforge chambers below that his boss would know what to do. We went downstairs and checked out the fleshforge chambers. Turns out, a flesh forge is just a big bath tub with lots of arcane engraving on it, I was expecting a crazy over-engineered butcher shop with skinned animals everywhere so it was a bit of a letdown. From one of the four chambers we heard some mysterious shuffling. Goethe summoned an invisible scout to check out the noises. A few seconds later…

“You’re the wayyy wrong coLor! You little devil!”, a man effervescently shouted, his voice oozed with all the eccentricities of a fabled flim flam man. We heard a barrage of explosions and ego-maniacally laughing from the chamber.

“Rudhale?”, yelled Lorenz.
“Yes! What coLor are you?”, questioned an outlandish voice.
“Black, blue, white, and pale”, Goethe sharply answered.
“Wayyy wrong answer! Bombs Away!”, shouted the bizarre man behind the door.
“Wait! We’re chartreuse like you. Ignore that other idiotic. He’s blinder than a deaf bat”, saved Lorenz. He pointed at the chartreuse ashy dust on the floor and motioned to Goethe to magically change us to the same color.
“Ahhhh…well if that’s the case. I need a nap…”, the man yawned.

We entered the vat room and found a sleeping chartreuse munthrek with perfectly coiffed hair wearing wing tips and a flamboyant fur outlined lab coat. Immediately, we tied him up and disarmed him. Lorenz somehow managed to cure the odd man of his chartreuse sheen with diamond dust and magic.

“What are you doing here?”, asked Lorenz.
“Great question, Mister. I mean, what are any of us doing here? Wow. Food for thought”, Rudhale answered as he rose. He shook his head and yawned again.
“I’m Rudhale, Captain of Industry, that’s if your industry is ooze. I started out, making platypus bears, but there’s no money in platypus bears even though they’re more tender than beef…”, he continued in his charismatic manner, “I had a vision one night about oozes, the bigger the better the richer I get, so I switched production. Let me tell you oozes are the next big thing. I plan to put an ooze in every home, they’re that useful!”.

“Focus Rudhale! What the hell man? Where are your oozes?”.
“Don’t know about that. The last thing I remember, I was in my observatory watching a meteor shower while sanding the calluses off my feet. Hmmm…that reminds me I think I have a rash. Where’s my assistant? Bil Li! Bil Li!”, Rudhale exclaimed in a carefree manner. He began to stretch wildly like a baby bird.
“I need to do my Rudhale-calisthenics program to get my mind warmed up. Genius takes a warm mind”. he said while doing pelvic lunges with his arms akimbo. Was this munthrek for real?
“We scraped Bil Li off the ground ten minutes ago. He is barely alive upstairs”.
“Great! Tell him to go downstairs and do the thing”, said Rudhale mid handstand.

“Why downstairs?”.
“I am guessing my top secret carnivorous blobs are down there. They shouldn’t have gotten too big. Only 10 or 12 people to absorb down there. They’re each probably no bigger than a platypus bear, two tops. Luckily, I don’t keep the leftover platypus bears down there this time of year, they’re real jerks when in heat”, Rudhale elaborated while bending over to touch his toes.
“Strangely, I’m allergic to oozes. I got it! My Rudhale-calisthenics must be working!! Why don’t you fellas do the thing for me?”, he said, then he stood erect and flashed his pearly whites at us.

I couldn’t tell if Rudhale was a brilliant genius or a brilliant bullshit artist. No matter which, we were already committed by our own curiosity. Why not clear a few more floors? We crept downstairs past the bunks to the cellar. My dragon heart pumped like crazy. I’m certain I’m developing an ooze phobia. Then I saw the red undulating blob.

Definitely an ooze phobia! The carnivorous ooze was straight out of my worst nightmares. A huge alien pool of blood red unrelenting uncaring hunger! It was so big I didn’t need to aim. I just closed my eyes and fired and fired and fired. When I opened my eyes, the ooze was splattered everywhere in abstract gore like a red drip painting. Aven looked like he was part of the canvas, “Cease Fire!”, he shouted, “It’s dead”.
“Did it get you pregnant?”, I asked.

“How many blobs did you find?”, Rudhale called down from atop the stairwell.
“One”, answered Goethe. Did he expect more?
“How many fleshforges were open again?”, he quizzed in a shaky tone. What else was the bastard hiding?
“Two”, replied Goethe.

“Whoa! The voices in my head don’t like that. I was hoping the burnt ooze odor was coming from down there and not Ecanus. Well fellas! I got one more little thing for you to do. Why don’t you come to the roof?”, he finished. You could tell something was off with him. He talked too fast even for a crackpot fast talker.

Once on the tower roof, we saw Ecanus a few miles away burning like a five alarm fire. You could practically warm your hands from the heat. Between the razed buildings we saw a few glimpses of a massive crimson blob rolling and twitching. Yup, definitely an ooze phobia, I struggled to hold in my puke. It was biggest freaking creature I’d ever seen!

“I named him Funky Boy. I added something special I found in the Mana Wastes to the ooze mix. Funky Boy loves to absorb magic flesh. Can you imagine the amount of magic he can absorb in Ecanus? He may never stop growing.”, Rudhale spoke with bewildered fascination. Funky Boy came into view again, engulfed a score of battlemages, split in two, and then split in four. The look on Rudhale’s face turned from fascination to horror to melancholy.

In a subdued tone, Rudhale spoke one last time, “Bil Li, won’t you look at that? Funky Boy is a daddy now. So Beautiful. I guess that makes me the grand daddy of the Apocalypse”.

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